Once upon a fictional time, on a fictional sundrenched tropical island, there abided a fictional creature called the El. Now this El, for reasons unknown, gave up a promising career of de-shelling fish embryoes under a microscope in order to take up a day job that largely involved stalking around dressed like a rabid penguin. However, there was no future for penguins, however rabid, on sundrenched tropical islands. Thus, the El set off in search of territory more suited to penguins. The El's pair of world travelling sneakers (Japan, Tasmania, Thailand, Malaysia, Yosemite, Yellowstone, the Rockies, Vaxholm, and, of course, the sun-drenched tropical island) eventually brought the El to brand new unconquered lands -- the mystical country of Sweden, and its sundrenched capital city of Stockholm. There, in the dark days of Limited Internet Access, this account was spawned.

Readers are advised that the literary devices of exaggeration, exaggeration, and gross exaggeration are splattered tastelessly throughout this account. Of course Stockholm's beautiful and the Sweden is great. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise! Especially not this penguin.